The Tortoise and the Hair

One day, the Hair was bragging that he could do anything to the American people without losing the support of his followers. The Tortoise took this opportunity to challenge the Hair to see who could take away the most health insurance the fastest. The Hair was confident and declared, “I can repeal ObamaCare, I’ve got the best repeals!” And off they went!

The Tortoise got all his friends together behind closed doors and talked and talked and talked, but wouldn’t let the public in on his plan. The Hair saw this and tweeted, “This is going to be so easy! My healthcare plan will be the best healthcare plan in the entire world—instead of working hard now, I’ll just hold a rally!” Then the Hair turned on Fox News and took a nap.

All the while, the Tortoise had been working diligently to ensure that if poor people couldn’t afford insurance, then at least wealthy people could spend less on taxes. The Hair thought that the Tortoise was being “mean” and was more confident then ever, especially when the Tortoise was forced to delay the vote on his own healthcare bill. But the Tortoise kept on working. “Slow and petty wins the race,” muttered the Tortoise.

Slow and petty wins the race…