The origin of the alphabet

The word alphabet—what we call the collection of however many English letters there are—is Greek for the first 1.75 letters of the Greek alphabet. So, basically, when they were coming up with the name of the alphabet, they were just like, "what should we call all the letters?" and then Conservatisus was like, "Why do we need a word for it? Just say 'alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon...'" And then Cheryl was all like, "Ya! It's the alpha, bet... ugh! Let's just end it there and go have some more baklava."

Thus ends the origin of the alphabet.