Bee attitudes


As was established in the early half of the late century, bees have serious attitudes. As bees began to live closer and closer to humans, their attitudes rubbed off on humans like cradle cap on a windy day. Now you can tell what type of bee you are simply by knowing what the first bee you ever loved tasted like.

Kiwi - the James Van Der Bee

You are beloved by all, you don’t take yourself too seriously, and probably were once obsessed with Steven Spielberg when you lived on a creek.

Saffron - the Hepatitis Bee

Although you cause those you love to become jaundice you are becoming less and less popular these days, which makes you hate vaccines.

Umami - the BeeBee Netanyahu

You are a political football, and much like actual footballs, I don’t understand you, nor do I know how to throw you spirally.

Sweet and/or sour - the Jessica Beel

There was probably an episode of 7th heaven that discussed the beatitudes, but it almost seems like binge watching just to find such an episode is beyond my level of dedication to this otherwise excessively researched news article.

Cubby wubby womb room tea - the Bee Arthur

You don’t take Blanche’s shit, and your mother is actually younger than you. Sophia was the youngest. It sounds insane, but look it up.

Cardamom - Cardi Bee

You once threw a shoe at Nicki Minaj. Thus ends my knowledge of popular culture.