Please use this emoji when you’re lost out there and you’re all alone.
Today, it seems as though there are more celebrities than there are professional rollerbladers, and it can be difficult to know which one of them is currently the past future you.
Well, not any more!
Just answer a few invasive questions, and this quiz will let you know—DEFINITIVELY—which current star is really you in a future past life!
25 years ago today, it was Matt Threadbare's final day on set of Disney's soon-to-be classic Aladdin. Even back then, Matt knew it was a professional risk to play the part of Carpet, the mischievously earnest aeronautic area rug. Ever since, Matt has received, and turned down, dozens of offers to play carpet roll after carpet role. "I may be a carpet, but I'm no doormat!" said Threadbare when asked about being typecast. "Sure I could have taken the expected roles. I could have easily played the red carpet at the Oscars or Throw Over the Couch in Boogie Nights. They begged me to play Nicolas Cage in National Treasure 8: Big Blanket, Smallpox. But my fans expect more. They deserve more."
Threadbare spent the 90's surprising movie-goers with such innovative, breakthrough roles as Third Base in A League of Their Own, Plank For One in Titanic, and, more controversially, Pie in American Pie.
Today, the Aladdin icon has a recurring role on the president's head as Hair. "It's tough," Matt told the Media Bucket, "I spend hours getting ready in makeup, almost as long as the president does." Later he confessed, "It was a bold casting choice. They were considering going in a more realistic direction and nearly cast the wig from Tootsie. But, as always, when choosing a top position, the president refused to choose experience over the sensational!"
Who are these monsters?
Using Google Ngram, we can see that ever since the early 70's, saying "Bert and Ernie" has been more popular than saying "Ernie and Bert."
But it wasn't until the 90's that people started getting their act together and started saying "Ernie and Bert" less and less. Unfortunately, the practice has yet to die out, and so one would assume that these backwoods Ernie-and-Bert-ers are out there somewhere saying everything backwards, like, "Cher and Sonny" or "Jerry and Ben" or "stance and hap."
What do you say?
Many assume that celebrities are naturally scientifically interesting, but the data seems to suggest that it's really just Charlie Chaplin. Also, I'm pretty sure Arnold Schwar... is in second only because he gave birth to his twin, Danny DeVito. I think I got that right...
NOTE: The Schwar and Leo are the only celebs whose societal rankings match their scientific rankings